FROM CONFLICT TO CARING WORKSHOP MANUAL

ABOUT THE SEMINAR WORKBOOK
Not sure yet?..... scroll down this page to get a link to download a portion
of the manual, including a great first exercise that sets the tone for the rest of the book.

For the price of less than two cocktails, you can transform your relationship!

• The workbook instructs you how, what and when to say just the right thing during disagreements. No more blaming.

• It's not just great information! The workbook is full of exercises and practice examples of typical conflicts that real couples often have.

• In the workshop couples receive two workbooks, because each partner fills out many pages of exercises and self test inventories.

• What sets our manual apart from other relationship conflict books is that half of the manual is devoted to exercises which educate, illustrate, model and transform the way conflict is perceived. ORDER MANUAL HERE  

Full Money Back Guarantee! We're so confident that if you practice the skills and make the agreements with your partner you will experience a shift for the better in your relationship. If you don't find the manual of value to you we will give you your money back.

Impatient to get started?... Go HERE to download the entire 129 page homestudy course seminar manual.

Learn how to: Communicate effectively, safely & respectfully. Work as a team solving problems together.. Know the difference between a complaint, a criticsm and contempt. Express & resolve conflicts without damaging closeness. Preserve and enhance love, commitment, and friendship. Stop the misunderstandings which cause aggressive arguing and defending. Eliminate the frustrations caused by male & female communication differences. Use the 4 step problem solving method. Solve problems instead of finding blame. Stop the bickering and hear each other! Make sure both sides are heard. Decide if you want to stay together.

Discover: The most powerful 3-step technique for listening to someone else's anger. How to express your own anger in a way which does not make the situation worse. How to turn anger & disappointment with someones' behavior into a process for increasing intimacy & understanding. How to keep arguments from getting out of control. The four sentences that can bring people together. Two phrases that show "I respect your feelings and it's safe to talk to me." The three questions to ask yourself, which will help you decide if you should stay in your current relationship; or if you should leave. That change is possible! And that change can 'begin with me.'

I want to know if I make you feel bad, or scared. I'll listen to you without interrupting if you ask. I'll spend 15 minutes a week with you to talk safely about issues we might have. I'll let you leave the room, if you feel intimidated. I'll let you define if you feel intimidated by how I speak to you. And I'll get some help if I can't follow these commitments (ie. "I'm out of my own control.") ORDER MANUAL HERE Free Sample Exercise & Agreement- Join my monthly 'Couples Communication Skills Tips' newsletter. You'll receive effective and practical techniques and resources no more often than once a month. Your address is NEVER shared or sold with any other organization. You'll get a confirmation email that contains a link to our where you can download a 31 page section of the workshop manual. It includes a really great exercise to get couples to be willing to accept a part of the responsibility for problems. AND it includes, the full section on 'Stop Destructive Arguing Using Time Outs." We are now programming our video and Flash components for this section of the site. We expect to launch our first web based learning modules in mid to late 2007. To be notified when our online training modules become available join our Couples Communication Tips newsletter. Join RealHope Couples Tips list & get a FREE Sample Chapter Email: Table of Contents Commitments & Values- What's more important...Pride or your partner? Agreement To Spend Weekly Time Together To Talk. Listening Exchange- It's about taking turns! Safety then Understanding the Other then Expressing My P.O.V. Obstacles to Listening...What I Can Improve On? Stop Destructive Arguing Using Time Outs. Handling Contempt, Rejection & Hostility- It's not 'what you said' it's the 'way you said it.' Respect Agreement- "I do not want to see myself making you feel badly." What I'll Do If I Cannot Reasonably Keep My Agreements Listening to the Anger of Others - First Pants then Shoes Expressing Anger- Is This About Me...Or Is This About You? Practice Vignette Examples Personal Inventory - Childhood Influences on Current Conflicts. Self Tests- Medical and Psychological Issues that Affect Conflict. Physical, Psychological and Emotional Violence. Should I Stay...or Should I Leave the Relationship? Recommended Readings.

Coming Together for Life - Couples Handling Conflict With Confidence Seminars in Los Angeles. Affordable, effective & practical methods couples use in their marriage to handle anger, disagreements, fights and arguments. No psychobabble!     Download the full .pdf of Marc's 129 page workbook for couples that take his seminar.  AND get four podcasts of Marc laying out the whole course in 87 minutes.  All five agreements are described.  The two main skills are covered also:  1) Responding to someone who is angry. 2)  Expressing yourself when you are frustrated, hurt or angry. Learn these principles while you drive or exercise by getting these RealHope podcasts of Marc's interview that describes everything in the workshop and seminar manual. Marc was interviewed for 87 minutes by Beth Lapides and in these downloadable files Marc lays out his whole program.  The philosophy of how it works and he outlines the common pitfalls for people using the workbook at home.  These podcasts are GREAT for couples who cannot come to Los Angeles for the workshop. The four podcasts AND the .pdf of the whole manual are ready for you to use TODAY!  You can put import these files into your iTunes or other .mp3 players and listen to great ways to change the quality of your relationship! Buy the four podcasts download file of Marc's interview. and, you get a free .pdf file of the whole seminar manual. All for $24.95

WHAT'S IN THE WORKBOOK?

This workbook contains information and exercises that that will transform the way you handle conflict with your partner. There are 5 commitments that each partner makes out loud to the other. They are:

1. To reserve time each week for talks about each person's concerns about the relationship.
2. To listen to your partner without interrupting.
3. To leave the room when arguing escalates, by taking a time out.
4. To not allow intimidation, contempt and rejection to be a part of our dialogue. That means I won't tolerate intimid- ation by myself, or by my partner.
5. To get further help, if I cannot reasonably follow through with these basic commitments. ORDER MANUAL HERE

The agreements interlock with each other in a way that ensures that just about every situation of conflict can be handled.

What To Do When There Is Physical Violence, Intimidation Or Emotional Abuse

While Time Outs are an important part of handling abusive relationships; these methods are no replacement for treatment when physical abuse is present in a relationship. Do not attempt couples counseling when intimidating or violent behavior is occuring. Couples counseling creates the illusion that the problem is a communication or couples problem, when the real problem is one person's impulse control.

Whenever, there is violence and abuse, the violent one must FIRST get treatment for his or her problem of not controlling the violence/abuse. The one who is physically violent or emotionally abusive must seek help for his or her individual problem of lack of control. Group treatment by trained violence professionals is highly recommended. Standard psychotherapy, by therapists not trained in anger management or violence may even be counterproductive.

Please refer to the 800 799-SAFE violence hotline telephone number or contact a women's shelter in your area for guidance and support.

The best place to find referrals for therapists with experience in treating abuse is the municipal court, probation or city attorney. They will often have a list of county approved programs and therapists. Shop around and speak with a few therapists before you decide.

Worksheets

1. Listening Non-Defensively to Someone Who is Angry With You
2. Expressing feelings of sadness, hurt, frustration and anger in a constructive way!
3. My Personal Inventory - What is it about my personal history that may contribute to our conflict? What can I do about it? Self tests for addictions, violence, psychological disorders.
4. My Obstacles To Good Communication
5. Knowing the Difference Between Expressing Anger vs Hostility
6. Knowing My Time Out Cues
7. Identifying and challenging 'Abandoning and rejecting language.'
8. Should I Stay Or Should I Leave This Relationship? - A checklist of things to consider before ending your relationship. What to do about fear or guilt about leaving. Three questions to ask yourself that will help you decide if you should leave.  (from page 111 in the manual- Go HERE to see the three exercises to help decide whether to stay or to go.